


Tonight

by Fulcrumisthebomb



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Genre: M/M, Turtlecest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-25
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-12-06 12:38:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/735779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fulcrumisthebomb/pseuds/Fulcrumisthebomb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some nights, it's perfect. Raph and I are in complete harmony, whether playing, fighting or making love.</p>
<p>Some nights, however, it's chaos. I go left, he goes right. I push, he pulls. We blanket our fear in insults and fists.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tonight

Some nights, it's perfect. Raph and I are in complete harmony, whether playing, fighting or making love.

Some nights, however, it's chaos. I go left, he goes right. I push, he pulls. We blanket our fear in insults and fists.

Tonight is one of those nights, and as I watch him leaping ahead from rooftop to rooftop I wonder how we get _here,_ to this awful dark place we're both ashamed of. The more we wallow in it, the more I realize it doesn't belong to us, yet we keep perpetuating it. Why? Are we just pretending we're fine those other, perfect nights? Is a working relationship between us truly such a fantasy, or can we seize it and twist reality to fit us?

Despite my anger, the exercise clears my head- his too, I notice as he offers a sly smile before jumping to the next building. My feet won't obey my command to follow and I halt on the edge, eying the precipice between us.

"What?" he snaps. Impatient, impetuous. He'll never change, and I love him for that. I gesture at the empty space.

"I don't want this."

His nose wrinkles as he looks around. "What?"

"This." My hands fall to my side, dead weight, heavy as my heart. "We drive each other away after we get so close. I don't want to continue that cycle."

"You an' yer damn wordy bullshit," he mutters, stepping back to take a running leap. He lands almost silently beside me, arms crossing in his usual stubborn pose. "What nonsense ya spouting now? I'm real short on listening to ya tonight, so make it fast."

"That's exactly it," I argue desperately. "How can we be... so _complete_ one day, and the next we-,"

"I didn't start the shit tonight," he interrupts, and I nod gravely. It's best to not get sidetracked, no matter how much he baits me.

"My point still stands," I reply calmly. "I want to stay in that moment, when we're content. Talking, sharing. Happy."

His expression shifts as my words are absorbed; a few seconds later he looks as uneasy as I feel. "I don't know, Leo. But I don't like it either."

His admission relieves a knot of tension in my stomach; a part of me had been afraid he would run, away from this problem, away from me. I dare to put a hand on his shoulder and he relaxes under my touch. "If we both don't want it, then we can work for that."

"How?" His sigh tugs at my sadness. "We're opposites. Ain't we? I mean, we go together like sugar and cyanide."

"A morbid metaphor," I say dryly, smiling when that earns a throaty chuckle. "And inaccurate. We're not opposites just because we have different methods. We're more alike than either of us realize."

He frowns. "Think that's the problem?"

"The problem is simple." I straighten, moving closer to his side. "We let our insecurities block the path the walk together. I say we don't let them anymore. I will stop worrying about you leaving me, and you... can stop worrying about whatever you-,"

I freeze as he surges forward, the long dark arms wrapping tightly around my neck. He holds me like that for a moment; when he speaks, his voice is rough with emotion.

"I ain't leavin' ya."

I nuzzle his cheek with my nose, encouraging him to press his body to mine. "I couldn't bear that," I admit softly. "And when we fight- _really_ fight- I become paralyzed by that fear."

"Don't." He leans back far enough to stare up at me, his gaze sharp and intense. "Yer right; we ain't that different. I keep thinkin' you'll give up on us after I keep messin' up."

"We both make mistakes, Raph," I admonish. "And sometimes your mistakes hurt me, a lot. But you're worth anything. Worth feeling anything, worth going through anything to be with you."

He takes a deep breath and I mimic him, feeling the tension leave with the extended exhale.

"We're a couple of damn saps," he grins suddenly, and I don't fight the laugh that bubbles up from my chest.

"Yes, but don't tell Mikey."

"Hell no." Raph's hand reaches up to trace the curve of my face. "I see what ya mean. I wanna stay in this moment, right now. I know we ain't perfect, Leo, but this is damn close, don't ya think?"

I hesitate, and he shakes me in irritation. "You don't think this is a mistake?" I whisper.

He grimaces as he looks away; he'd shouted that at me earlier tonight, and it had fanned the flames of rage and terror to the point I had broken into a sweat.

"Okay, an' maybe I might make ya regret being with me sometimes-," he starts, but I silence him with a short, passionate kiss.

"Never say that," I hiss. "You're mine, and I'd fight to the death to keep you."

"Fine." His cheeks have darkened, and I quietly relish that small victory. "But I promise, Leo..." His lips ghost down my neck, a hot tongue pressed to the pulse in my throat. "I'll work hard to be the mistake ya can't live without."

"You're not-," I try to protest, but my words end in a moan as his teeth graze my skin.

"Just shut up an' do me."

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write from "Tonight", by Seether, for about a year or so.  
> It screams Leo/Raph to me.


End file.
